There is a strange faux-busy atmosphere today. They couldn’t seat me by a window because I was by myself and there were no 1/2 tables available. I considered sitting at the counter instead, but I wanted to be able to watch people.

The cashier/hostess who seated me must weigh 300lb. She sways like a monument to flab. She walks very very slowly.

There is a middle-aged man sitting with his elderly parents at a table by the window (curse them!). The man’s father is wearing this crazy back brace over a white undershirt, which covers him from waist to neck, and sports a matching chest-plate like a white plastic catcher’s shield. There are cut-outs on the back-piece by his shoulders, which I’m assuming are there to permit more natural arm movement, but I have a hard time imagining how that could be possible.

I bring my own tea leaves and infuser with me when I go to restaurants. I am a snob. I ordered hot water to go with it, but though it steamed convincingly, the resulting tea was a bit insipid.

I ordered my usual 1 egg with bacon and toast. My total bill came out to $2.80. Waitress forgot to charge for the bacon.

My minimum tip is $2.00. Makes up for the free bacon.